Motorcycles, Life & Lies Adults Tell

Motorcycles, Life & Lies Adults Tell by Capt Crash

Think back, through the eons of time, yes way back to when you were a teenager. If you’re a guy you had hair on your head not in your ears, and if you’re a gal, well…lets’ not say ‘cause I don’t want to offend half the planet.

Remember the lies adults told you? You know, the ones that were intended to keep you safe from harm and danger. Earnest, hopeful lies! Lies like: “Everyone who smokes dies of cancer”. (Wait. They don’t.) How about this one: “Nothing good ever happens after midnight”. Pardon? Most of the real fun I had started after midnight. Granted, bad things happened as well…

OH, OH, OH! Ever hear this one? “They THINK they’re having fun but they’re not!” You knew that one was a lie from the word go. NOBODY gets on that train.

These were all lies that were intended to make us safer and happier.

“Eat your spinach it’ll make you strong like Popeye”—NOT.

“You will lose an eye if you get a bb gun” Got the gun—still have both eyes. My kids all have BB guns and all their eyes…

“Never be alone with a girl!” Yeah, see, slow dancing kinda started me thinking this might be a lie…Further research proved my initial hypothesis (girl + Crash + alone = GOOD) was correct. Since having children myself I have since revised my risk/reward calculation and encourage my kids NOT be alone with the opposite sex unless in public…at a restaurant…in the afternoon…with me nearby with a taser.

“If you speed you’ll have an accident”—had one, wasn’t speeding, got a ‘no fault due to weather’ from the CHP.

“If you stick your arm out the window it’ll get torn off!” Still flapping and driving.

Our parents, teachers, mentors, doctors, zookeepers and uncles all told us well intended lies. They tried to get us to change our unsafe behaviors by painting the worst possible outcome and then saying: IT WILL HAPPEN—and then it doesn’t and our parents, teachers, mentors, doctors, zookeepers and uncles are all proven liars--well intentioned liars but liars none the less. As teens we realize these ‘well intended lies’ for what they are which can be very upsetting because no matter how well intended—they were lies. People had been actively giving us inaccurate yet…benevolently wrong information.

Not everyone who ran away from home wound up a teenage prostitute. You COULD cut class and still pass. Loud music didn’t leave you deaf (but Ted Nugent if you’re reading this I’d like the top 10K cycles back). The government DID lie. About the only thing I can think of that we all got told that is really, absolutely, 100% true was:

“Money doesn’t grow on trees”. I use that one now myself…

When my brother’s friends started showing up with motorcycles one of the things that people started telling me was: “Everyone who rides one of those gets killed”. Time went by, and I patiently waited for them to die. Yet they didn’t. They didn’t even crash. Day after day I’d see them around and they managed to cheat death. Time went by, another motorcycle showed up (RD400 Daytona), and prophets of doom predicted death for all. The ferryman never came. A Yamaha XS750 appeared in another friend’s hands--surely death was gonna catch one of these guys! But NO! Not even a serious crash.

These well intended lies are unfortunately prevalent in the motorcycling community still today. We tell these well-intended lies because they encourage smart behavior; we lie to try and help people make wise choices. Yet, just like teens riders fundamentally sniff out these well intended lies.

Here’s a few:

4. “If you don’t go ATGATT (All The Gear All The Time) you’ll be sorry.”

No you won’t. You MIGHT be sorry someday but there’s a distinct possibility that you may never hit the pavement and will never need the gear. See, we want people to wear the gear. We want them to be ready IF something goes bad and it’s easier to overstate the case than take the time to explain that gear is a personal choice and will make you more comfortable and protect you from injury. However, we don’t want to admit that you might never need it. Go to Sturgis or Daytona—you’ll find thousands and thousands of people who never wore gear—and they aren’t sorry. The danger is in needing gear and not having it. The consequences are staggering. Risk is a terribly personal issue. I won’t risk riding without gear. Others will. I suggest you wear the gear. Does that mean you’ll be sorry if you don’t? Maybe. Maybe not. Honestly? It’s not worth the risk to ride without it.

3. “It’s not if you crash, it’s when you crash.”

LIE. Not everyone crashes. Some fall, some fall at speed but not every single one. This is the bastard cousin of “everyone who rides—dies”. The difference is that it’s designed to make riders who fall feel better about themselves. It’s a selfish lie but it’s also intended as a warning—gravity works, be careful but don’t resign yourself to a crash.

2. “My bike won’t do that.”

WTF? Ask someone to ride a u-turn in 25 feet and they will actually tell you “My bike won’t do that.” Meaning “I can’t do a tight U-Turn.” This is a stepsister to “Bikes are all totally different, dirtbikes have nothing in common with cruisers and cruisers have nothing in common with Sportbikes which nothing in common with AdventureTourers…” Lies all. The basic physics of motorcycles are the same, some react quicker, turn tighter, brake or accelerate faster but this is akin to saying the only REAL dogs are German Shepherds. A DOG IS A DOG. If you can’t make your dog behave or don’t think you can—just say it! “Sorry that’s too tight for me” would work. The minute you start saying things like “my bike won’t” someone like Motorman Mike will, and you’ll feel silly. Yeah, it’s OK to say “I’m not comfortable doing that.” Why don’t I ride to Daytona for the races? I’m not comfortable being on the road that long. There, truth.

1. “If you don’t wear a helmet you’ll end up a vegetable.”

Nope. First it assumes the “everyone crashes” lie and second, it assumes that all motorcycle accidents result in you smacking your melon against something. This is probably the most tempting lie to tell, so tempting in fact, that I have found it on my lips. However, not every bike crashes, not every rider falls and not every head hits the pavement. I recently read about a rider with over 500,000 miles of accident free riding—and yes, he rode with a helmet! Now here’s the weird part—his helmet has never saved him from injury due to falling--therefore did he need it? His accident free career may be the most persuasive argument you can make for NOT wearing a helmet!

*****DON’T TAKE THIS TO MEAN I ENDORSE NOT WEARING HELMETS—WEAR YOUR FREAKING LID!!!*****

The consequences of smacking your unprotected head on the pavement are dire and frightening. Always wear a helmet. Why? It’s a risk/reward calculation. The risks of smacking your head on the pavement outweigh the rewards of not wearing a helmet. WEAR YOUR LID. Helmets also protect you from weather, animal/insect impact, wind, noise and crap kicked up from the road. YOU SHOULD ALWAYS WEAR A HELMET.

Do you know why cops carry guns? The same reason you should wear a lid—not because you will need it, but you might need it!

I’m not gonna lie to you. Lying to you assumes you’re not very bright and weakens my case. One look around and you’ll see that not everybody dies from riding without the proper gear OR having proper training. The consequences of riding unprotected can be expensive, painful and permanent and so I will say this: wear the gear, not wearing it isn’t worth the risk.

Don’t try to scare people into wise behaviors by telling benevolent lies, change their minds with the truth. Ask the real questions like: what if you’re not wearing a helmet and you fall? Can you live with the consequences of striking your head to the pavement at 20mph? My wife can’t. My kids can’t. My friends can’t. I can’t. A nice haircut won’t do you any good when what you really need is a good helmet.

There is no power in telling well intended lies; instead tell your helmetless friends the truth: you love them the way they are and if things all go to hell, a helmet will help keep them that way.

Thank you, Captain, from the bottom of my heart. I am going to print this out and hand it to alot of people....

and a corollary... alot of the well-intentioned liars are intrinsically implying that DOING what they are recommending will keep you safe/alive/magically protected.

I know, personally, of several riders who died while wearing ATGATT. At certain speeds in certain situations, the best helmet and leathers in the world will not protect you from a high impact crash breaking most every bone in your body.:(

They also are propagating the myth that somehow it's better to "lay er down" than to burn every ounce of rubber upright that you can...which is really dumb if you think about it (unless the CHIPS scenario of sliding under that 18 wheeler...)

I also know a rider who rode for years accident free. She was in her 70s and switched to a trike conversion in recent years due to health issues. When I read the saddening email from her husband, I of course assumed a cycle accident...wrong, she unfortunately passed in a terrible head on car collision.

I'm tired of the well meaning lies too. I am an intelligent adult, as are MOST motorcyclists (and even the teen bikers are capable of understanding this I believe):o

This is a great post, me being only 19 I still hear half of those things from my parents LOL :D

i am 33, and i appreciate the words of wisdom. i have a wife and child,have heard and told lies, and am glad to know there is still people out there strong enough to TELL IT TO YOU STRAIGHT.
thank you captain
stein

Great post, Crash. Thanks again for your words of wisdom.

This is a great post, me being only 19 I still hear half of those things from my parents LOL :D

I'm 34 and I still hear almost ALL of these things from my parents!!

Randy
aka Hightower

Great post Captain. Your points were well made. I do ride ATGATT but only recently. Yet I know you can survive without it as last month my brother-in-law went down, no helmet, gloves or jacket. When he hit the road hewent 75 ft. and flipped at least 4 times according to witnesses. Only road rash on his forehead, the whole right side and a few small spots on his right arm and both legs. He did shatter his right leg but no gear would have prevented that. He is still recovering but I think if he rides again he will wear a helmet at least. He realizes he dodged a bullet. Incidentally when he finally stopped he was laying across 2 lanes of I 44 in rush hour traffic. A semi driver saw him go down and pulled over the 2 lanes to prevent anyone from running over him.

What is the sense in tiptoeing gently through life, only to arrive safely at death?

2 things about ATGATT:

- it will not protect idiots
- it will not protect you from God's act

What is the sense in tiptoeing gently through life, only to arrive safely at death?

I am not trying to arrive safely at death...I am trying not to arrive at death after 20 years in a hospital bed! Dying on the road doesn't scare me nearly as much as permanent injury does.

Thanks Crash, always a good read.