Husband just ignores our financial problems but mainly his fault?

My husband and I are going through some financial problems. We have been married for 11 yrs. Every time I try to discuss this with him he is too tired or not in the mood. He won't do it over the phone or in person. We work opposite shifts and have 3 kids to take care of. Most of our problems with money are due to his spending habits. He eats out 2-3 times a day, he bought a motorcycle and boat at different times when we could not afford it. I was not even involved with those decisions, he just came home with them. I'm the one dealing with trying to pay bills and buy groceries. He won't even sit down with me for 2 minutes to go over our finances. Now were are being sued by 2 credit card companies and are with a debt settlement co. I'm ready to give up on this marriage. He did get a second job and is soley using this money to fund his eating and drinking and porn habits. We are in financial ruin because of his spending. Help, how do I get him to sit down and realize he is being stupid.